Step-this, X-that….

July 2, 2009 at 6:36 pm (children, committment, emotion, family, marriage, vision)


Today I “officiated” at a funeral.  No, you don’t know them, and I just met them, so don’t ask.  In a funeral setting, where all the family gathers, you see dynamics and relationships fleshed out like no other place. And my heart broke as I met this family.

You see, this family has the scars of generations of brokenness.  Nearly everyone I met was step-this, x-that, or half-whatever. There was a legacy of broken committments and deep emotional scars.  And it broke my heart.

And then.  Then I imagined those were my remains at the front of the room.  And that those were my kids on the front row with their grandkids.  What will my legacy be?  Will it be a legacy of broken trust, emotional neglect, and selfish motives?  Will my great grandchildren feel the effects of my commitment-less life?

OR will they be united?  Will they be together more than at funerals and weddings?  Will they WILLINGLY get together for family events?  Will they find peace, joy and love in the family that sees me as patriach?

I have never been impacted so much as I was today by this thought:  Who I am and what I do TODAY will impact my family and their families for generations to come.

Oh wow.  Thought I would share.



  1. Heather Todd said,

    Wow…yeah most families seem to be like that now days. Certainly gives a lot to think about.

  2. culturalawakening said,

    That is so true man. I think about family stuff like this so much at funerals. I performed a funeral once, years ago for an elderly woman. The funeral director warned me that there were “step-this and x-that’s” involved. The two sides sat on opposite sides of the aisle. Wouldn’t look or speak to each other during the entire funeral. At the end of the funeral as the funeral director began to close the lid, the family got into an argument, right there at the front of the funeral home in front of the casket. They were arguing over who had the rights to a ring the woman was wearing and whether or not it should be left in or out of the casket. While it may seem trivial, there was obviously a severe break in this family’s relationship somewhere along the way. They were making a mockery of the funeral service. It was very sad to see. Honestly, I was a little scared.

    That kind of stuff is very sad to see. I am glad that my wife and I are on the same page about how our family will work. I’m glad that we can do our part to instill in our kids the type of commitment that is so often missing in others. Because you’re right, it will hurt for a long time and in some cases, entire generations.

  3. billyjohnsonlive said,

    LET ME MAKE ONE THING CRYSTAL CLEAR: If you are a step-this or x-that, I am NOT condemning you. What I am saying is that it often lead to an unbroken circle and we should be wary of how we treat our commitments. If you are step-this or x-that, Jesus has a marvelous plan and purpose in your life and will execute it if you are willing to let Him.

  4. chasinghisheart said,

    Awesome insight.
    The choices we make today are definitely affecting the generations ( and funerals) of tomorrow !
    Selfishness will always cause destruction.
    Selflessness will always lead to Jesus!

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